Happiness. It’s something we all seek, and arguably, it’s the key ingredient for us as human beings to live fulfilling lives. But how do we find it, and what is this feeling of happiness rooted in?
A lot of us live what I’d describe as ‘checklist lives’. Finish school? Check. Pursue further education? Check. Travel? Check. Get a job? Check. Meet the love of your life? Check. And on it goes, as we work towards these milestones that we’re conditioned to believe will deliver on their promise of providing life-long happiness. And sure, they do. But sometimes it seems as though once one item is checked off, it’s straight onto the next. With that, our measuring stick for happiness begins to transform as we continue on our quest to find the next thing that we hope will bring us an insurmountable, everlasting amount of joy. These life successes, or ‘big ticket items’ if you will, often become the parameters of happiness, and as a result, our definitions of what happiness and success are become so blurred that the former doesn’t seem possible without the latter: to be happy, you must be successful. But then, that begs the question – what exactly IS success? If you asked two people to paint their idea of what success is, you’d end up with two vastly contrasting, contradicting pictures. And who’s to say which of these pictures is more accurate than the other? We all know what it's like to have someone in your ear, telling you how you should live your life if you want to be successful, and indeed, happy. It’s one thing to offer advice, but it’s never our place to project our image of success onto others. Living in the digital age further complicates our path to happiness. It’s hard to not be consumed by what we see on our screens, scrolling past the grand achievements of friends and loved ones gallivanting across the globe, while you’re sat on the couch with your mum and dad, wearing your ‘home clothes’, covered in chip crumbs (#helpmeimpoor). While such things should be celebrated, it’s important that we remind ourselves that a moment doesn’t have to be Instagram-worthy to be fulfilling. Far too often we make the mistake of attributing our happiness to a specific person, place, or thing, when really, it’s our perception of said people, places and things that make us feel the way we feel. At the end of each day, particularly the more difficult ones, I find that taking time to reflect allows me to see my world from a different perspective. Finding at least three things I’m grateful for during the day, no matter how big or small, can help shift my mindset from negative to positive. Sure, I may not have checked everything off on my to-do list at work today, but I sure as hell enjoyed the dope leftovers I had for lunch. So, what do I think happiness is? To me, happiness is driving over the Harbour Bridge every morning to get to work, contemplating how picturesque my home city’s skyline is. It’s reclining on the couch with a perfectly brewed cup of tea in hand, feeling the sun’s rays as they greet my skin through the window. It’s rolling over to check my phone in the early hours of the morning, only to find that I’ve still got plenty of time to fall back asleep and dream. It’s finding a book so good, I get lost in its pages and just about forget what world I’m living in. It’s dancing around in my living room when I’m home alone, listening to my favourite music full noise, the whole house reverberates. It’s sinking my toes into the sand as I approach the ocean’s edge in anticipation of my first swim of the summer. It’s finishing my gym class and getting a second burst of energy for the day thanks to an endorphin high (it’s also taking a bubble bath to soothe those aching muscles after, too). It’s snuggling up in bed after a long day. It’s spending time and talking about the future with my parents. It’s laughing myself silly with friends over a bottle of wine. It’s being content with who I am, where I am, and what I’m doing. It’s, well, living. In sum? Have your goals and reassess them regularly. Don’t stop aspiring towards those milestones. Just remember to enjoy those simple, little moments in between accomplishing your ‘big ticket items’ – they’re equally as important, and among some of the most rewarding experiences we’ll have on our respective journeys. Happiness can be found in a lot of seemingly ordinary things. You’ve just got to open your eyes.
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B is:A 26-year-old tea drinking writer of words trying to find her place in the world.
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April 2020
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