I know it's a saying that has been absolutely thrashed to death, but man, time sure does fly. This time last year, I was preparing myself to embark on a journey halfway across the world to explore the sights and experience the culture of Central America. Little did I know that this adventure would change my life and be the catalyst for some serious self-learning.
Leaving Auckland airport for this trip was a debacle in itself with changes to flights needing to be made within hours prior to my departure. Still, I managed to keep my cool as I boarded the plane, thinking that I certainly wouldn't have been the only traveller in history to have experienced a minor hiccup. Arriving in Mexico City some twenty-four plus hours later, however, to discover that my luggage hadn't even left my home country was a little disheartening to say the least. One harrowing courtesy-car ride to my accommodation and a few frustrated tears shed later, I picked up my socks and decided that all I could do was accept that this was a less than ideal situation and make the best of it. Three weeks later, I was reunited with my luggage and homeward bound. As previous posts would indicate, I did things in Central America that I never would have dreamed of. I met some of the most wonderful people, created lasting memories and learnt lessons that I will carry for a lifetime. Surprisingly, or perhaps not-so-surprisingly, I managed to get on relatively well without most of my belongings. It's amazing how much shit (for lack of a better word) we think we need while travelling. While I may have missed dolling myself up for a night on the town, or having a wider selection of clothes to choose from, at the end of the day, I was just stoked to be doing what I was doing and embracing all that Central America had to offer. Sometimes I feel like I have to pinch myself to remind myself that it wasn't all a dream. Fortunately I can avoid inflicting self-trauma thanks to the filing cabinet full of memories I have in my mind. Even for those that are becoming a little fuzzy as time passes, the photographs on my phone transport me right back to those moments and they become as clear as the day they were experienced. If anything, I wish I had written more about this trip while the momentum to do so was still there. As I settled back into my day-to-day life, it felt as though I had less time to daydream about my travels and mentally reimagine myself in a place I once was. Travelling alone was as nerve-wracking as it was exhilarating. The challenges I dealt with taught me so much about what I am capable of in the face of adversity. Let me tell you, globe-trotting isn't all the glamorous, especially when you are forced to scrub your underwear with a cheap bar of soap and blast them with a hairdryer just so you have a clean pair to wear the next day. Even when it seems like you've hit rock bottom, you find a way to survive. Not all my problems were magically solved through travelling as I hoped they would be. I didn't come back home and have some epiphany of what life had in store for me. Like most of us, I'm still figuring it out. In the last year, I've changed my idea about what career path I want to pursue approximately 87 times, moved out of home (and moved back in), jumped back into the dating scene and tried the whole "falling in love" deal, and spent a significant amount of time getting to know myself better. There are a lot of things I'm still not sure of. Before I went travelling, this terrified me. Now, I'm learning to be okay with that. I can't be in control of what I don't know, but I can be in control of what I do know. I may not know exactly what I want to do, or where I want to be, but I do know that I am edging closer to figuring out who I am, and no doubt this will put me in good stead for any future decisions I make in my life. So, who is B? B has an incredibly dry sense of humour and is about as sarcastic as they come (truth be told, she also uses this strategically as a defense mechanism in times of vulnerability). Bad memories about red wine no longer make her want to vomit, and in fact, it has become her drink of choice in recent times (a reflection of her incredibly classy nature). B is still pretty reluctant to step foot in a gym, but she'll be in her element outdoors, so long as the sun is shining. Alternatively, you'll find her curled up reading some crime-thriller, writing her thoughts in a journal, or watching some soppy film and pretending she's not a romantic (she might be, ever so slightly, and the thought makes her cringe). She enjoys being around people, listening to them, and helping where possible. Perhaps most importantly, B is resilient, fiercely loyal, and values everyone in her life. All in all, I feel like I'm closer to knowing who I am than ever before. As it turns out, a lot can happen in a year. I'm currently in the process of planning a trip to Europe and considering returning to university to pursue further studies. Although I can't say for certain what the next twelve months will bring, if 2017 is anything like the last year I've had, then I can't wait to see what unfolds.
2 Comments
Nicky F
15/4/2017 02:04:27 am
Awww I miss you B. Love your blog. Nicky xx
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Debra Mclaren
15/4/2017 08:15:01 am
love it & love you little Cousin.. Your only young, your not meant to know what your doing. Took me till I was 32 to find my place in life. I love this photo of you. So continental. Enjoy your next adventure.
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B is:A 26-year-old tea drinking writer of words trying to find her place in the world.
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